Friday, October 3, 2014

Being Broken Part 13 The wonderful calling: The foster paren

http://www.rzim.org/  http://ggwo.org/

Since 1997 I'm a professional foster parent at one of the excellent institution of Hungary's capital city. When I got there I had the preconception of five years of criticism and gossiping. I've heard a few bad story about this kind of institutions hence I was generalized them and I was angry at them in my heart. It wasn't even come to my mind to think again what I've heard. I was sure, that in this places everyone treats the kids in a wrong way. This thinking of mine was foolish.


I was ashamed, when I realized, that they helped me to the best thing in this world: I could get to know what it means to be a mother, even if I could not have a child. Thankfully in a short time my opinion towards them was changed.
I have understood, that many serious, dedicated, loving hearted people working for the kids who are in the care of the government, to provide them the best from everything.
For many kids, the fact that they got out from their families saved their life.


I remember when I first stepped into the assistant manager's room. From the wall, the Lord Jesus Christ's image was encouraged me. I was happy, that he is a believer. Then as I was looked into his eyes, I got afraid. I thought that he sees into me.
He had an open and clean countenance, his speech was straight and serious.
God revealed for me that the assistant manager have authority and power from Him, and that his life is full with the love towards this kids. I was very happy, that he is not sentimental.

He and the chief of the department was the first whom I've got to like, because I have understood that we can trust in them.

He became the legal guardian of Andráska. And an older, very kind lawyer become Little Brave's legal guardian.
They can not be cheated. In the church I was learning about that I should get myself under others authority.

I've experienced that the Lord blesses me if I do that. It wasn't easy as a single to accept a man leader's authority and conforming to his decisions, but I have learned that.

They helped me in everything. Thy rented for us an apartment with three rooms, a beautiful home. We painted and we put up the wallpapers, but they paid everything. Since 15 years anything happens in our home, they sends the help.
From that time when I took the kids home, they never released our hands.
They were the strongholds for us. With their continuous help, counsel they freed me up from a lot of weight.

Slowly I've fell in love with my vocation and my workplace. I could trust them, and this was more important than anything. Being a foster parent isn't an easy thing, it requires profound preparation.

We are filtered with a serious filter system, and if we pass that then we are continuously trained. One many hundred hour long course, and a psychical and aptitude test is the part of the basic requirement. While I was there I have finished two training college and many courses.

Unbelievable how serious they take that trained and loving hearted families would receive the kids only. This honorable people were fighting in their whole life for the kids, even if they attacked many times.

If one of the foster parent made a mistake, then all of us marked as guilty and they are attacking and judging us and our leaders immediately. If something happens in one establishment, then all of them treated as problematic. This is silly and malevolent behavior. Our job is not easy.

We need encouraging and not baseless gossiping and critics. Please, everyone think about that as starting, we are getting abused, wounded-souled, broken hearted kids, whom we can give back at any time to their family, when the original family members could get their life on track again. Everyone helps this families to reach this, because it was never the goal to take away their children forever but to help them back to their family.

Many times it happens, that a foster parent raises a kid for years, then he/she gives him/her back to the family. This shatters everyone of us, because we try to give the best to them from everything.

We need to be in contact with the family of the kids too. Every foster parent's goal is to get the growing child the best education, to show him the values of life, encourage them to be autonomous, and to create a home for them.

No one ever hindered me in anything. I was able to move on a wide place, because they knew that I'm doing my work from my whole heart. They never judged over me, even more they encouraged me to go on even if I made mistakes. (But I have learned from them.) When we got into really hard situations, then it became more obvious how excellent characters are my coworkers.

We aren't overpaid, when I was started then it was 27000 HUF ($123), and now its about 95000 HUF ($433) is my monthly net payment. We can not make savings, but we never be in the need of anything. I personally absolutely satisfied, because thanks to our prayers we got everything, always. We are managing what we have received. We don't have unreachable desires. We teach the kids to study, work and be satisfied with what they have. No one of us could do this work merely for the money, because no one would be able to pay that much.

The local governments, the court of guardians, and other special services helps us a lot. I don't know whether my kids would have the chance to stay alive without them. Together with the two kids with AIDS, once an Afghani refugee kid was with me for a short while too. None of them was an easy situation, but at my workplace they thought out this whole thing before decided. They never offended me and never humiliated or criticized me.

They always approaching me and the kids with reverence and sympathy. It is a fashion today to criticize everything and everyone. Offend people and destroying them with baseless backbiting is much easier than offering the friendship and a helping hand. But finding the value in others, and spreading good things instead of the bad ones is a much more noble thing to do. The people at my workplace are the most prominent kind of people. I'm proud of them. Their heart and soul are completely for the kids. I can ask for help boldly, they never refuses me. It isn't a foolish thing to accept experienced and educated people's counsels. And it's better to pray for them, and bless them instead of cursing and gossiping about them.

God chooses our leaders, and he knows their hearts and abilities well. Once I was thinking: do I ever would sit into their chairs? Since them I don't offend anyone not even in my head. I remember how happy they were when they renovated our current home, or when they visited us and saw how well and orderly we are living.

When Andráska got his Hungarian citizenship, his legal guardian was there when he received the papers. He was as happy if his original father would be there.
As I was watching his face, I was ashamed by that how could I believe so many bad things about them previously.

They were fighting for Little Brave's citizenship for years, but when finally he got it, then the department manager and the foster parent counselor was there too. It was a great stone that fell off our heats, because after long years of working, finally Little Brave could stay in Hungary permanently.

Today, I love them very much.

The guardians, the foster parent counselors, my leaders and the precious foster parents day-by-day fighting for kids like mine to be able to provide them the best from that amount of money that they have.

So let this few line be a thanks to and a sign of gratitude for everything they did, for everything they are doing for us and the kids.

I'm praying for them, to don't give up in the face of the many hardship and critics, and even if no one says “thank you” to them. I know, that they not doing it for this. For them it is the same joy to see the welfare and success of the kids as it is to me.

It is a great privilege, that even if just for a short period of time from now on, but I could be among them.




If you want to watch a movie, that could shake your life's foundations (in a good manner) then catch this and watch it.

This is your movie. The base of this story is the abortion surviver Gianna Jensen's testimony.

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