Being Broken Part 14 Little Brave

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I've covered how we become acquaintances in the beginning of my book. His mother came to Hungary in the beginning of the 90's. Thank God, that he was able to live in a hospital, because from all of the other kids I knew, he had the best life. That few years, that he spent in the hospital because of the treatment formed a completely different child. I was thinking a lot about what would happen if he was lived in the same circumstances as Andráska. One in love, the other in anxiety and fear spent the first years of his life. Of course, Little Brave's life wasn't easy either.

In the hospital he got many sicknesses because of his weakened immune system, but his consultant, and the nurses were provided the best from everything for him. He had his own room. Silent, well furnitured and very clean. He spent a lot of time with the nurses. If he asked something, he got it. The Hungarian Child AIDS Foundation was founded by the doctors of that department, and they made all kinds of programs for him, so that he would not feel himself alone. He had summer vacations, he watched many plays in theaters, he was in museums and he had trips to countryside cities.

I've been at him many times. We played football, walked, went to eat some cookies. Others were coming to visit him too, and he met the other kids with AIDS . He served in the church towards many age-group: small kids, children, teenagers and elderly peoples too. This was very good, he is as comfortable being in fellowship with a teenager as with an older people.

You can talk with him for hours long, and he smiles always. In the hospital they separated a place for him. With very good quality table, chairs, armchair, drawing board, TV and with many many toys. He was taught by a teacher there, we played there, drew things or simply just talked. This way his room was able to stay clean as we not used to go there, only if he was very sick but we were extra careful how we do that. We only entered that room if sterilized our hands, and many times we used masks. I was left my coat, and bag outside on the corridor. Really we did everything to avoid of their infection.

His room was bright, had a windows on two sides and in one side there was an open corridor, with stairs. We were able to sit there, other visitors are going to the rooms of other patients from there as well. So everything was perfect.

Even the cleaning womans were cared for him, they surprised him many times with home-made food. Everyone was protecting him, everyone loved him and taught him according to their best knowledge. He was never alone. We went with him to every examination, and when he had surgeries there was always someone next to him whom he knew.

From that day when I brought him home he continually had some kind of sicknesses. Flux, vomiting, migraine, hand and feet pain, this things were everyday. Because of this we went to the hospital many times. But still, this thing was characterized by supernatural joy and happiness. When he first got fever, he got covered by spots in his whole body. While I was waiting for the car, he was sitting in his bed and sung. Because of the fear that he will die I was hardly be able to stand on my feet, but he was smiled on me and sung. Later I got to know, that he always had this reaction towards antibiotics and new medicines.

He needed to fight with bug bites too. This bites created big swellings on his hands, legs, ears and sometimes on his head too. He had fungal head skin and otitis many times. He's ears were subject to surgery multiple times but one of his eardrums are still have a hole on it. This sickness led to serious hearing injury.

It happened also that he's body got filled with blisters and wounds. They were itching and hurting. For a few years he needed to give injections to himself, twice a day. It was terrible. Where ever he(or I) made the injection a big, 10-15 cm wide hard tumour was broke out in the place of the stab. He's body was looking horrible because of this.

Once at a stabbing I felt like that the needle was one of Christ's nails. I remember the pain, and how I cried. His tears were falling at every time an injection was given. At that time they were given injections into my spine regularly, so I was able to identify with him. We got used to the treatments and sicknesses during the years.

We lived the first seven years like in the first half of the year his health were going down and down, then when he got really weak, he become stronger and stronger. We often slept together in the hospital, but by the grace of God he won over every sickness that attacked his weak body. It was easier in a way, because he felt himself at home in the hospital.

We had many troubles with his meals. Even to this day hi is unwilling to eat fruits. It is corrosive to his mouth-mucosa (maybe the translation is not correct with medical terms – the translator). Sadly it could cause many painful ulcers too. So because of this he is using nutrition supplements. Over the course of eight years I was sure seven times that he will die. One who experienced the loosing of a loved one knows what I'm talking about.

It was never the problem that we facing was hard, because problems are always solved but rather the fact that I was sure that I will loose him. It is not surprising that I got sick. This is a strong and cruel trial for a person and for two sick child. What caused the most pain is the helplessness. My unspeakable questions I was never dare to ask from God, because of my guilt I thought that He is a judging, ever avenging God. But I was wrong, I was very very wrong. I had learned many things from Him.

My science without experience wasn't worth too much. Many times I've hurt myself, I was fighting with guilt day by day. I was always thinking on: is it sure, that I did everything for them? But God wanted to teach that their life is depending on Him alone, and I should only do what I'm able to do.

He got often into the state of “maybe it will happen now” but then he always got some more time. The 22 years of sickness were unable to won over him, but he got a lot of attacks on his body. His body is in pain day and night. I've never heard him cursing God or blame anyone because of his situation.

I know him since 1995, but he never offended me. He is not speaking ugly things, don't talks back even if he have an opinion about many things. He is wise and delicate. I don't remember a single day when he offended me. His fear of God and loving of people kept him. He loved the school too. I never needed to dispute with him to get him to study.

I've tried many times to lower the amount that he needs to learn, but he always refuted me with the doing/learning of the harder tasks.

Little Brave have many friends and families. He always says: I have four families! This is wonderful thing, because not only I'm there for him, but others in the “wider” relationships too. Mothers, fathers, brothers. They are the nurses and their families whom took him to their homes for years. He loves everyone equally, he does not differentiates between them. I'm the base for him, the provision, the one who cooks, washes, cleans and serves him. The other family members are the other fathers and mothers. He's thinking is very healthy about us. On the summers, weekends, holidays he often travels to the other family members. Thanks to this he is healthy in his soul. He have a few guys who are his friends in the church. They were came to us for years. One at Sundays one at Saturdays. For a few years ago he spends every Saturdays at the family of one of his best friends, that family has 13 children. He wake up at 8 o'clock on summer and on winter too, then travels 1.5 hours to be with them. At this times they are together at the local church, then they have a lunch together, then they goes to the church at night too. This Saturdays charges him up for the whole week that is ahead of him. I've told him many times, when he had pain that don't go. But neither from the school, from his friends or from the church he is not willing to stay away even for a minute. He has an incredible personality and persistence.

He can not be manipulated. If he decides something then he will persevere regardless of the cost.

The love of Andráska helped him a lot. It is very bad for a child to be alone. After the death of Andráska he suffered much, but he does not hid himself with his pain, but he mourned him away, then continued his path.

He appreciates higher than everything that he have more than one families and friends. He is a good spirited kid with great sense of humour, and he is a joyful child. There is always someone next to him. We have been never bored. He is an exceptional child, who lives to cause joy for others.

Despite of his sicknesses, sufferings and problems, he can rejoice and give thanks for everything. He is preparing for the future, plans even if many doubts that he could survive this for long time.

He was the weakest, the smallest and the one who suffered the most among the other diseased ones whom I knew. For long years he is mocked with his tiny size. Sadly, not just other kids but adults also. I've been a witness to this. It hurts him so much. Sadly others don't understand that his body is hurting anyways, but they mocks and boycotting him just because he is small.

He's soul is wounded many times because of this. Once I've asked him: what hurts the most? I thought he will say, that the thing that others mocking him. But he said something else.

He looked onto me, and with tears in his eyes he said: I would like to help others more. He is 23 years old, and just 143 cm tall, but in his heart he is a giant. Despite of the many hurt from them, he didn't became hateful towards people. More so, for years he led a study group for young children who mocked him. Only the love of Christ which is dwelling in him is capable to do this.

He is an extraordinary, lovely creature. Wherever he goes, he brings life. I've got so much love from him. Always when he sees me, he starts to clapping and “jumps out from his skin”.

Many times I'm thinking: many adult could learn from him. This boy suffers more pain in a year than others in their whole life, but he never complained because of this.

He endures in a way as we adults should do. He is the biggest and richest man on earth, because despite of his tribulations he is comfort and joy for others. I'm thinking on that children are how much more patient than us. They have been put into our hands, and we can from them as we want. But we are responsible for them. God will asks us about how we handled them.

They are watching us, they are imitates our words, acts and sadly many times our bad habits too. I've noticed this with Little Brave too. How many times I've got warned by the Lord that be careful what goes into the mind of the children, what they are listening, seeing, reading. This was my responsibility. In their early ages I taught them about birth and death. They understood that this is the part of life. That we have hope and in heaven we will be together and we will be healthy.

All three of us were suffered together, we lived for each other. We understood that we have a future because the chain of love connected each other forever. Without this it is impossible to live. I'm hearing him many times singing or worshiping God. Sometimes he writes verses.

Now he would like to make a clip about addictions. Not long ago they made a film about the drug addict youth, in what he was a doctor.

He is learning to make videos, shoot photos and cut videos. During the summer in the big hotness he was worked in a service every day, for free, just for learning. Maybe one day he will be a cameraman.

He got many gifts of which he used all the time. He helps others a lot. Even I don't understand that, but in turn I'm a believer for 20 years.

His life is the proof that it is possible to live a calm, peaceful and whole life with a sickness like this. He never thought about blaming others because he is not like others. He encourages the other patients and elderly ones. It isn't matters for him if someone is homeless or just released from jail. There are many kind of people in the church, he is always ready to love.

Not long ago I've shared with him that in 10 months my workplace will cease, and we need to move out from this house. And his disability assistance will be 33000 HUF ($150) and I can't hope much more too.

He said, that I will work mother, and I will go forward with my studies in a night school. Nowadays they cuts the future of people like Little Brave with a stroke of a pen.

But he does not fear. He knows, that the Lord will takes care of us. He looks at me and tries to comfort me. I will take care of you mother.

Of course, it is impossible, but it pleases me, because the best choice of my life was when I took Andráska and him to myself.

I would like to encourage everyone, who is in the middle of any kind of problem, that there is an opportunity to live life like him.

By God's help, to God's glory.