Being broken Part 8 The children/2/

http://www.rzim.org/            http://ggwo.org/

I was almost flying to the institution. I knew that this decision came from the sky. I have no idea,how the Lord/God could convince the leaders,but the 2 children were mine. I was running happily to the hospital. Both the doctor and the nurse were so happy as they wanted me to the boys. There was no happier person on earth at that time as I was. As I watched my exulting face in the mirror,having repeated 100 times:that I have 2 children,I have 2 children! It was a real intervention of God! I can remember,that for 2 years ago on the day of my „sinking”  God told me that I will have many sons and all of them will be the followers of God. Naturally, I did not believe it.When I became converted I resolved again that I shall never get married. 
Therefore it was almost impossible for me to have children. 
The point that I was not

laughing, was the very fact that  I knew the story of Abraham and Sarah,where the wife had become pregnant at a later age. So for me the father and my will were missing. So therefore this day was the fulfilment of the big prophecy. 

At that time could I understand,that the thoughts of God are upper than  as ours are,and if he plans something,it will come true. My life and decisions until that time asserted/proved/ the contrary.

My happiness was boundless. I told to my pastor friend what had happened to me. He was not wondering about it at all. He just told me, very quietly,that the congregation is with me in all respect. I believed him,as he was a trustworthy person.

 He was justified by the time and by the events

At that time I did not know how many  difficulties we shall have in our lives. I thought that all people of the world are happy with me that our old planet will burst into activity and all its residings will run to me to help. I saw in front of me how they are patting me on my back and are queuing and congratulating me. Suddenly a thought occured to me,namely where they will learn? I wave my hands. The school will be proud for sure,which could. receive them in between  to their walls. After all they are so nice and so sweet. Oh,my naivity and my ideas. Not long after everything had collapsed an crushed to dust.. We couild move into our home at Buda. The walls were newly covered by wall-papers done by my friends. It was the foundation, which had bought the washing-machine,my dentist friend surprised me with

a coffee and tea maker,my pastor delighted me with a vacuum-cleaner. I had around such people,whom I did not count on,at all.. Bea,who had helped both me. and my acquaintances for quite a long time as a lawyer,got me acquainted with her mother Ms.Hédi,who became our grandmother. Both of them were supporting us regularly. From her small  sum of pension  Ms.Hédi sometimes even gave a few thousands of Hungarian Forints to one of the boys suffering from AIDS. Her daughter gave us  some money for excursions, for dentist treatments or for whatever we needed it. She arranged all our matters free of charge for love. Everybody had bought us whatever they could! Well,I thought how nice life is! I went down on my knees for God being grateful to Him. How wonderful life is,the children will get well again,they will grow up and they will serve God. My highspirits  could  never be taken away any more and by noone. I went to Bátorka to the hospital,we did up everything into a parcel,we took a taxi afterwards and we flew home. As we entered the flat we just got our breath. Bátorka looked at me and he said very seriously. That if it will not be as he will,he will go back to the hospital I was looking at the small young kid and I did not know whether I should cry or laugh. My belief has been gone entirely. I had heard ironic loud laugh of people in my thoughts. I heaved a deep sigh. If I allow him now,he will manipulate me in my whole life. I explained him. that if we go back now,his room will belong to somebody else. Until he has not seen it,he did not believe it. But he was a clever child,who could be taught at that time,already. He understood,that he was lost. I had never have any big troubles with him any more. He could always be convinced about the good things. I was just about to calm down,when they took Andraska. As we remained only in pairs together, he stood in front of me. In his wonderful eyes  fire was burning. He looked at me as  if I were the most horrible person on earth. He tightened his lips and said to me that he will never disobey me. He had kept this promise. I had the impression as if I had lost my footing/firm ground/

You man,you are not O.K.,you are not normal! Do you know what you are doing? 5 years later did I get to know,that he had punished me instead of his mother. I quickly called everybody I could. My poor friends! One day before I still  was beside myself with joy. It took long years until I had learnt that I should not burden  all my problems on anybody and  that I should not create any panic. I had no experience and  I was unknowing. I started to fear from the children. But in the evening,when I had sent them to bed I could think of the good things only,namely how clever and how nice they are. My sons! I was sitting for hours in their rooms and I was delighted in them

The first evening so many nice things had happened to us. As we had supper I said something,and Andraska started to laugh but so much that he fell down from the chair. I had never heard such kind of laugh in my life. Almost pearls were trickling from his mouth. I had already forgotten  what the 2 boys had formerly said to me.. I did not think,that the decision of one of them can deeply poison my life. I looked at them how blushed they were lying in their beds. The moon was so much gleaning on the sky that  evening as never before., I felt that the sky is blue and the stars are laughing because of them. Once I understood, how many nice things are existing in the world. I curved down to 2 living beings more perishable than me and all burdens that until that time had tracked my shoulders,had fallen down from me immediately . I felt that something new,something nicer will follow. I was healthy,happy and satisfied. I thought that if I live an exemplary life,and if I express my belief in our every day life in this case they will also be as god-fearing persons.

Due/according/ to the Bible it is not the illness that counts. Several god-fearing people had passed through    the wonder of recovery,or were given a longer life even being ill.

I trusted that we shall have a future full of hope and that there is a reason that from among 2600 children just they are with me, For sure God has an aim with their lives,I wondered. it happened like that. In 20 years I have seen  many times how their lives had changed,because of the 2 children. They gave so much love to others. Those who got acquainted with them,became fond of them.