Already
from childhood thought of himself that he is actually a girl. Many times in
secret she took up her mother’s dresses. In this case, with an imagined
microphone he was imitating celebrities. He learned the artistic level of
makeup, temptation to lying. Thus, he was soon swallowed up by the night life.
How often he was insulted, tortured from childhood and present, I can not even
tell you. Neither you, nor I would not bear it. He regularly made shows in gay
bars. Some of these bars I went also, so we met several times. I do not think I
knew where I was actually. But even to the end of the world would have gone
after them, because I followed the Good Shepherd, who, if a lamb wander away, leaves the other hundred, and then will go
after the wandered sheep until that one understands that He loves him the way he is. The change of the heart is
then worked out by the Shepherd, it is not the sheep’s job. It's just his job
to accept the Father's love.
My Bible
has a wonderful part where the Lord eats with adulterous women, tax collectors.
Today we would say this: whores, homosexuals, murderers, junkies. Well, if my
Lord is not ashamed of them, then I could do the same.
Certainly we
ate, we cried, we laughed together. For László I was a role model. Not long we
got to know each other he became a social worker. Years later, when I completed
a medical school, he enrolled as well and successfully executed. Since then, he
works as a nurse. Because of his pliant manners and honest love for his work
soon he got credit before his employers. Unfortunately, a few years later I
learned that he practices white magic, witchcraft deals. If he won’t give it up,
there's only before the throne of God where we will meet next time. For a long
time I thought he was born-again Christian, but disappointed when I learned that
only pretended for years, like a faithful brother. It is likely that he
believed he has to do so to be accepted, but I have never been so. God saves
people, not me. I invested a lot in his life, many times I talked to him for hours.
He always called me: my sister. He was
not the only one who cheated on me. Another transvestite devised a very wicked
plan against me, against me and my children. Blackmailed a lot of evil, because
he knew what position I had.
But of that
I will write later.
I was
shocked when I saw a few people whom I never thought I'd be gay. For many
years, when someone wanted to hug me, I would prefer broke his hand. I was so
broken from what I have seen, much evil I wanted to escape for years, if one
wanted to touch me. God did not allow me to have this persistent psycho trauma.
The memories remain, but the pain was gone.
Whatever
they two have done against me: love and forgiveness I have instead of the anger
and frustration, prayer changed it all. If
I meet them, I would continue where I left of. Hugging them, and I just loving
and loving them both.
Only God
knows how hard the past most of them have behind. Unfortunately, sometimes
including suicide. Collecting money for years to operate themselves, but it
goes to waste because the problem is in the head. The first they would need a
change of mind and only the Bible can do that. No one is thinking about them
like: that this man ruined by someone in his childhood. Well, the children who
were raped end up on the streets by a minimum of 80%. They become weak in their
volition, so anyone can dominate them. So can be many of them be kept robbed,
beaten, blackmailed, kept like slave. Howls of pain come from my heart when I
hear what they did with them.
I ministered
unto raped children. For two years I have served them, and then I stopped
because I was in permanent pain because of them. I told God, if I do not stop,
I go mad. Since then he does not let me near anymore. That time I was thinking
that I should raise these children. If I'm healthy, them would I choose. One who
wrote me from prison was a pedophile, a beautiful poem he wrote on the Cross of Christ. Beautiful and
powerful poem. When I read the letter, I was shocked, because the writing was the
writing of a six-year-old boy. God to me, that age was he raped.
He did the
same thing with other children, and would have continued, but God in His great
love reached after him and tore the chains of sin. But all that crime he is punished, for
many years to come. 600 million children slaves are in the world today, there
are many of them child prostitutes. In Asian countries, $ 50 a child, who are
delivered for European sex tourists. If we would do care here in Europe, would
not like this today, not this much gays,
lesbians, prostitutes, a pedophiles , even here it would be different. Budapest
is known as the stronghold of pornography. Well, I have no desire to live in a
city boasting with such title. If I had my way, I'd not live here.
But some of
these boys understand God's love and forgiveness. They all wanted a normal
family life, and for someone to love them unconditionally.
For they
were crippled because of their unnatural lives. There are great examples of the
them, there is a way out of the worst life, if we accept God's help.
For a long
time I thought this was my most painful work, and the most that exists.
But the core
was yet to come.
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